Just this week, I received a wonderful story to share: a car, an 18-wheeler, an accident–and then what? I remember getting two letters once from two different people who each recounted the same story–of a car that against all the laws of physics passed through another so that though they saw the faces in the other car as it shifted through their front seat, averting a crash.
For days this letter from Victoria (a stranger to me) has made me happy, and I’m glad she says I can post it. I can’t do better than quote from her letter to me.
At 17, I was diagnosed with a severe panic disorder. I had my first panic attack while driving a car, and I began to fear driving so much that having a panic attack when behind the wheel became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I went through years of therapy before learning how to deal with it. I am 41 now, and always have a small fear in the back of my mind when driving, though I know to reverse the symptoms of a panic attack if needed.
On May 20, 2016 I drove my son an hour and a half on the Interstate to meet his biological father for his weekend visitation. The highway is very congested on Friday evenings, and that evening was no different. As I headed home, I was traveling in the left lane. The speed limit is 75, and I was going about 80. The truck in front of me changed to the right lane, which seemed to be opening up, so I followed. Suddenly he swerved back into the left lane, and there I was, twenty or thirty feet from a car-carrying 18-wheeler that lay sideways across the road. The left lane was jammed.
I screamed “Oh my God, oh my God!” and closed my eyes.
What happened next is hard for me to register because realistically I only had a few seconds before I slammed into the truck, and I have at least thirty to sixty seconds of strong memory.
When I closed my eyes I saw a bright flash of light: a very quick flash. Then I saw my accident.
I saw my rental car on fire, lying halfway underneath the 18-wheeler. I remember saying to someone (not sure who), ” Who will take care of my children and my husband?” I opened my eyes and found myself driving down the interstate as if nothing happened. I felt an overwhelming sense of fear and started to have a horrible panic attack. My hands and feet were already going numb. I thought of pulling over, when all of a sudden my body completely relaxed (from head to toe), and someone (but who?) told me to keep driving, that everything was going to be ok.
I drove an hour and a half home, feeling completely safe and calm. It was an amazing feeling. When I arrived home, I burst into tears and told my husband I’d had an accident. I was so confused, and struggling to take everything in and make sense of it. I still find it strange that I never looked in my rear-view mirror after the accident, and I never called my husband or parents on the ride home.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my experience. I continue to puzzle: “There is no way I didn’t hit the 18-wheeler,”and “What did everyone driving near me see?” and “Why did I get the amazing opportunity—who am I—to have an interaction with God and my angels?”
What happened to me is nothing less than a miracle. I am a spiritual person and have progressed as I’ve gotten older. Since the “accident,” however, I am even more spiritually aware. Everything seems precious. I knew my calling in this life before, but now I am actively pursuing it. I am happier, calmer, more appreciative of the minor moments, as well as the obvious blessings of this life.
Wow, that was really hard to put into words, but I hope it makes sense, and you are able to understand it. I feel as if whatever made me reach out to you, is telling me to allow you to use this story in your blog, book, speaking, etc. I’m hoping that soon I will be able to tell the story as well. If my story can offer another human security, confidence, or help in any way then I want to share it.